For the Love!!

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, “ABBA! FATHER!

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit that we are the children of God;And if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if so be it that we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together…

Romans 8:14-17

I have been chewing on what it means to be a son/daughter of God. This passage above is sooo hefty and filled with much, but the key thing I will touch on is the “adoption” and being free to call God, “Abba! Father! Papa! Dad! Daddy!...” We are granted access to our Heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit. Today, I started to think about this LOVE that this Father offers freely to all His children, because it is part of our inheritance in His Son, Jesus…anyway, here was my prayer, my thoughts to Him and they are not just my words, but are the cry of a generation that is beginning to grasp what exactly it means to be “Adopted by God.” His love for us is deep and vast and far and wide, and without a true heart knowledge of it…well…this is the struggle and the glory of His love… Be blessed, Desiree…

written 23 August 2010 @ 5:00pm-6:20

 Father, so I love You and I got to this point hours later than I expected, but I must say, I have enjoyed this day. And thank You last night for reminding me that You just love me. Period. You just love me. Period. You just love me because YOU LOVE me. Period. Do I have to do anything for this love You are so freely giving? No. It is a love without strings attached. Do I have to journal everyday, read the word, draw paint, write, flip over and over? Nope—You love me. If I was standing in a vast expanse naked and empty-handed, unable to offer anything to You, You would still love me!! You love me standing upside down, hands on the ground. You love me underwater swimming like a fishy. You love me when I rise. You love me when I’m sleeping! You love me when I write, when I sing—even when I am doing “my thing.” You love me for me.

 Nothing will change that—You love me! You love me! You love me! You love me! You love love love love love love me in unfathomable ways—overwhelmed by this. I cannot begin to try to grapple with this love. Love that is so vast and deep and pure and true—You love me cause that’s what Daddy’s do! Perfect love requiring nothing in return! How is that so? So? So? What love that even if I turned my heart away and refused to love you any moment after today, still would I hear You say, “I love you forever and always.” Though I do love You and it is my desire that I would know the depth, width, breadth, and height of Your love. To know the fragrance of Your love—How You love!! So great is Your love. I am undone—so undone, undid, undo me again. My Father, who’s love knows no bounds—oh how You love, so deep so profound…

 What kind of love is this? Finding words to describe its feeling filling within. Like every cell, fiber, molecule is reaching out, saying, “LOVE!!” It is the shout. Oh how You love! It draws at my inside, it aches and it weeps, it longs, it is deep—It groans and pulls and rises and falls—a moment not aware of it and life seems to fade to grey—then You say, “Remember, My Love, it’s you I love!” I want to yell and scream and shout! WHAT is this love all about?! You long for me like a deer panting for water. You ache when you are not loved in return—and STILL You love. You love. You Love. You Love! Oh how by this Love I would be utterly consumed. Consumed and saturated by Your love so sweet and requiring NOTHING of me…

 Still the battle rages—How is this so? You love through the ages—don’t I need to grovel and bow and kiss Your feet? I hear You say, “I love you. Period.” You would love me even if I buried my head in the sand. You love me. You love me. You love me. Oh the wonders of Your love—FREE—YOUR GIFT to me! Can I know this love so deep again? This love without limits—this love this love; intense!!

 Father, my Father, draw me up and in again…This love this love…so deep so true—You’ve welcomed me into Your love, eternally new…nothing I can or will ever do will separate me from Your love—You love me. Period. I can’t earn Your love. I can’t change Your love. I can’t remove Your love. I can’t hide from Your love. I can’t run from Your love. You ARE love! You are Love!!

 Father, do I need to perform for Your love? “Nope,”—You say, “Just be you. I love you for you.” But why do I struggle, when You say, “Just being you is enough.” To say I get it and I really don’t, because life is spent trying to gain approval, from mothers and teachers, lovers and friends—and yet here YOU are, always You have been, loving me forever and ever again. You say, “Let Me love you more, Let me strip away all the facades, all the mirrors of smoke. Let me show you My love. A greater love, unending, unyielding, passionate love, deeper than time, brighter than the sun. Let me show you My love that is new, again and again…”

 Father, why do we fight Your love, so strong so real? You fight it because you think you are not worthy to be loved…Years of life…the fall of man…choices that man makes…many reasons that build walls, cause hurts, and only LOVE cures it all.”

 Father, I know you have been healing areas in me that have not been able to receive Your love, and I just desire so much more—These past few days, I feel as if I have been struggling receiving Your love—I am grieving for a friend. It seems as if he feels he has to do do do to prove to me his love for you—and Papa—I am heartbroken, for that is not so—And then I feel this wrestling and wrestling and wrestling again—I can see how I was believing that I must “do” to justify my love for You! I must “do” to give a valid reason for Your provision to come through. Help me Father—I know Your love is real—Heal my heart—I wish to be still and know You are—I love You. I love You. I know You love me—I do not wish to perform to prove my love again.

 You just love me. I just love You. Period. Over and over and over again. Can’t add to it cannot subtract. Your love is great!! Your love is received by faith!! I believe in Your love. I believe. I believe. I am undone!

 Father, You are such a good father, a loving Daddy—In the ways I have been hurt, or the choices I have made that would cause me to feel unworthy of Your love, please show me—heal me—I want You to love me more—I NEED You to love me more—otherwise, Papa, I feel lost and forlorn. I need You! I need You! I need You! You love me and Jesus is the door to truth, to You. Teach me, heal me, help me that I could receive Your love…Always…above all else give me Your love. Above all the rest give me the one, the One my heart loves. Whatever it will take to know Your love for me is no mistake—I give You permission overwhelm me with Your love!! Undo me again!! Please wreck me with Your love!!

 I love You…=)

Until later,

Beloved