Fluttering on the Wind

"The Wind blows where it wishes and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit..."

Dearest friends,
One of my favorite place to hang out at the Village of Joy in Pemba is the prayer hut in the midst of this incredibly beautiful garden. This hut has a 360-degree view of landscape and ocean, and sets a stage for some amazing sunrise views too. I love praying—it’s what I was born for; communion with the King—and I love the spectacular views of the ocean; but this simple hut called Bethel (house of God) is my favorite place of all because of the WIND…

Throughout the last two years, I’ve spent nearly a year living in Pemba…I’ve experienced the hot season and the hotter season…during both, WIND is a blessing. Not only does it cool, but it it also makes it harder for mosquitoes to fly. In all the places on our base, the ONE place that without fail has some sort of wind, or light breeze, is our house of prayer. It is almost as if to show the tiniest glimpse of His omnipotence and omnipresence to His sons and daughters crying out day and night in the midst of a wilderness that He is there.

I am rather fond of the Wind. I love how it cools my house in Pemba, I love how it sounds when it blows against objects in the midst of stronger gusts, and I love that I can imagine how many colors must float on its wings in every season--winter, summer, fall and spring. I love that the wind is my reminder that the omniscient God is really ever present leading me joyously and spontaneously through this crazy little adventure called life! It is the wind of His Spirit that beckons me, carrying me on the wings of His love, leading me where He wishes…

Mozambique: The Memory of my heart—
When I made the decision to go to Africa, two years ago, and with each subsequent trip back, I fully thought I would be living my life there. I thought that Pemba, Mozambique would be home—and the “west” would be the distant memory that I would visit from time to time. But, as the wind blows where it wishes…I have returned to California—My Mozambican home, it seems for a time, will now be the memory in my heart that I get to eagerly await to revisit when the Wind blows me back!

The theme is the Wind—Spirit

I can relate to Jesus’ statement in John 3: though I may hear the sound of the Wind, I might not know where it will blow me “next.” I am daily learning to trust the Divine leadership of the Spirit of God fully convinced He knows where He’s going—It may at times look like a whirlwind that drops out of nowhere, or a steady breeze that blows the sails of a boat, or there may be a sudden stop and movement is not possible—the flag won’t fly and the sail falls lifeless—Is it the sail’s fault it cannot blow in the wind? What an absurd question don’t you think? Sometimes the wind just stops and the boat captain is forced to make a decision in order to move his ship. In Mozambique, many of the fisherman boats have sails, and if the wind stops, most of these boats will sink, not float. So the captain must decide on a plan of action...Does he wait for the wind again, or does he paddle to shore? Maybe the wind has shifted direction? Or perhaps it is time for him to return to shore to get a new boat?

For a season the Wind was blowing my life across the seas of missions in Mozambique; I am not the captain of my ship, but the Spirit of God is, and He sailed us to the West where He is now beginning to blow upon dreams in my heart that have been waiting for such a time as this…a sudden shift in wind direction can only mean…

It’s time for a NEW boat!

The Pemba Sunrise

If there is silence…be quiet and listen…

It seems that more and more these days I find myself drifting in and out of sleep to the familiar silence of the Pemba sunrise. I did not know I could see such beauty until I was awoken on a July morning at 5:42am. I groggily turned my head to see an orange orb of light penetrating my makeshift curtains made of a polka dot sheet. I flew out of bed and ran to my window and gazed through only to see the sun looking at me!!

I often ponder why I come to Pemba…What is it about this place that draws me? Can it be the people? Or maybe is it the breathtaking views? Or maybe it is the work? All of the options are viable and valid, but it finally again occurred to me…the “why” of my existence. Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His lips for His love truly is better than wine. Draw me after You where I can gaze upon Your beauty, inquiring in Your Holy temple [Song of Songs and Psalms]. Pemba is the one place (so far in my existence) where I have been awoken to see the sun, and the Son, and where as I gaze upon His beauty, the darkness in me flees and the shadows fade away. Pemba has been a place where the deep parts of my heart where there is brokenness or hurts of old are exposed by the light of the Son and a new day dawns.

I’ve been watching the sunrises since that day and I’ve noticed something in this season that is different than any other season before. In the silence of the morning, I wrap my blanket around me to escape the chill of the day’s early winter weather and I look to the horizon that has been and will always be steady. These days I’ve noticed a low-lying cloud cover just at the horizon. During summer months, the sun is evident peaking over that distant line as early as 5:00am, but with this cloud coverage, the brightness of the sun does not kiss the sea until much later. In fact, it seems there is a battle in the sky for the sun to breakthrough its first light. I’ve watched the sun climb up the sky into the mass of gray cumulus clouds. At times it appears as if the clouds follow the sun up the sky. Maybe there’s a race between the two, or a struggle to overcome, and little by little the bright orange glow creeps higher up and to the top of the clouds crowning them, even in their darkness, in glory…

And suddenly…Light bursts forth and the darkness dissipates. The new day has dawned. These days with me, it seems there is a new day and it is here, but the night does not want to let go. The clouds are upon the horizon line, but in time, the sun will shine. I am watching from my window eagerly waiting for the sun to kiss my face and the fullness of the day to come. I may not know what each day will bring, but as sure as the sun rises and I listen to the silence of the morning song, I know that darkness will flee, shadows shall fade, and all that remains will be the sun shining, kissing my face.

With just under two weeks before departure, I will enjoy each Pemba sunrise—there really is no other sight quite as breathtaking as the glorious sun [and SON]—and the awakening of my heart to dreaming dreams of this new day.

Thank you all for joining me on this adventure. I look forward to many sunsets on the west coast soon…

Love,

Desi

I Am a House...

Contrary to popular opinion, not having running water, a working shower, a toilet that leaks, locks that stop working after 3 uses, and a brand new fridge that does not cool down, is not SO bad...The fact that I have a cement house (Thank you Arco Iris for providing housing)--that is almost level, with brand new tiles (thank you Mozambican construction crew) fresh paint (Thank you Brittnie Furuvald) an incredible view, and when there is a breeze...the best airflow--shows that I am way more fortunate than most who live here...mud huts that may or may not last through the rainy season, with no mosquito nets covering the windows, a cloth door, a dirt floor, and maybe if they are wealthy some electricity...I am blessed to be where I am...

Life in Africa can be daunting and challenging at times, but even in the midst of the “wrongs” I am awed that this is my life. There is so much more to this journey than complaining over what works and what does not. I have been pondering the sovereignty of God for almost a year now in great depths. Something about my journey, walking with Him, I’m beginning to see that He is purposeful in everything...even by allowing discomfort to teach me lessons for this little walk called life.

Why did I move into a brand new “finished” house in order to contend with such “issues” which in light of Eternity are trivial and meaningless at best? When God created man, He said that he was, “Very good.” Man is merely made of dust and breath...this house in which I write this page is made of dust, water, and air... Yet, when both were completed, was the work truly finished?

I can liken myself to being a house...a fixer upper at best. I am far from being finished... Daily the Master Potter, Craftsman, Builder...adds and removes to my house. A foundation of cement was laid in my house, and painted...it was firm, yet it constantly held the appearance of being dirty--could be a western mind that doesn’t see cement as a finished product, I mean I was born in a world of tile, wood floor, carpet, linoleum etc...For some reason, the floor was not complete until it had tiles...upon careful placement of tile, one by one, glued in place with cement, even in it’s dirty unfinished state, the floor began to look like a floor, not just a foundation.

Christ is the solid foundation on which I stand. And upon THAT foundation, He begins to build His house. I am His house, His temple, His vessel...He built a structure that can stand and is now adding to the details of what makes my house beautiful and unique. He lays the tiles to add character and personality, to bring invitation, to make me a space that feels like a resting place, not a workspace/construction zone. He is turning my house into a home.

Maybe I will save all the thoughts about every particular “problem” for subsequent blogs, but ultimately each item in this African house of mine can be a shadow of what needs fixing in my own life...or even just more details to make me more of a home...I want to be a home that is a place where life can happen, where dreams are dreamed, and where rest is welcome. This journey is one of turning building of mud, cement, and water into a home...The transformation process has begun...


Love, Desi:)

Eyes to See...Strength to Stand

Albertina Felicia…will never be the same again!! Neither will I…

Before I get there, let me catch you up…You see, I have barely had time to breathe since taking on this NEW assignment as the personal assistant to the director of Iris Ministries in December. I was back in the states like a whirlwind and spent more time in planes, trains, and automobiles than I did in California, and then I was off on another airplane back home…

PEMBA…

I returned to Mozambique after two long international flights, a surprise stay in Johannesburg—amazing how a volcano in Iceland can trigger delays in London—which translates into a missed connection in South Africa… Needless to say, after three days I made it. Home Sweet Home…

Over the roar of the 12 yr-old Land Rover with a clunky sounding clutch, I could hear the silence of this now, not too foreign, habitation. Everything has changed since I left Pemba in February, the airports are growing, houses are being built, and it seems people are actually thriving. On base at Arco Iris, the normally vacant dusty road into the center is booming with foot and car traffic as construction is zipping along to build houses and classrooms for the 300+ international and Mozambican students coming to our Harvest School and Bible School…Life in Pemba and life at Iris will never be the same. It will never be as it was…the seemingly grass-roots church movement is now more than international…Pemba will never be the same again.

The week was jam packed with adjusting to jet-lag, preparing for Heidi’s return and hosting guest speakers for the conference we were having just the following weekend. Not much time to breathe, exercise, sleep…and yet the hustle and bustle is energizing and exhilarating!! And, yes, tiring…but, in the midst of it all, try as I may, it’s me and Jesus at the end of the day. I sometimes miss the years where I was given hours upon hours to simply sit, be, reflect, think on Him, His Kingdom, His ways…then I’m jolted back to the reality of, “This is your season.” Adoration in Action…I’m learning to practice the presence of God in ALL things, staying at His feet whilst running around and working so, while discovering the facets of His face. He is my Strength, my Rock, my Fortress and Strong-Tower…without Him I can do nothing. Period. I need Jesus…and in the midst of the whirlwind that is Pemba, even if I sometimes fight against Him, the reality is, without His strength or grace upon me, I would drown in ALL there is to DO…

Albertina Felicia…

This past week I had the privilege of hosting Will Hart and Randy Clark of Global Awakening. It was my first time hosting international itinerate speakers in Pemba. The week began with two drive tests, one in a small rickety Toyota Corolla and the other in that 12-year-old roaring Land Rover with a clunky clutch…manual transmission on the left side of the road…I passed. I can drive internationally now! Woo Hoo!! But, before I go off on a tangent about driving in Mozambique, I will get to where I began this letter…Albertina Felicia…

We held a pastor’s conference at Mieze, one of our local churches. Roughly 2-3,000 people from Mozambicans to our international Harvest School students were in attendance. There was camping, rain, and mud, lots and lots of it… Despite the inclement weather and large numbers of people, God showed up in a tangible way. People came expecting to receive from God, they came from miles away to be touched, healed, delivered. Hope and faith permeated the atmosphere. Toes were healed from pain, headaches went away, the blind saw and the lame walked…

I was pretty wiped out during the Friday night conference, and to be honest I did not have the energy to pray for people, so I waited, and watched. I had a sore throat and was plain ready to go, yet something was stirring in the atmosphere. It was that hopeful expectation of yet something else… I was standing next to Heidi and she was given this precious baby, whom we discovered was 18-mo-old, Albertina Felicia. She was born with white eyes and had never before stood. Heidi asked three times the history of this child and each time the mother’s answer was, “She was born with white eyes…” I was hungry to see a miracle and believed to see her eyes healed. Would this little one receive sight?

The presence of God fell in a great way, like a waterfall of energy and peace was pouring from the sky, the little girl was standing on her own and taking steps toward her mama as we heard her yell, “Albertina! Albertina!” Heidi said she felt like she was supposed to wash the baby’s eyes—which were closed—with water. I went to find a bottle of fresh water, and in looking back, I realize it didn’t matter if the water had come from a well or a watering plant, Jesus mixed His spit with mud and healed a blind man— but I wanted clean water… Anyway, I gave Heidi the water and we found some napkins, and she began to wipe Albertina’s eyes…White milky substance began to come out of her eyes and they began to open. Albertina began to blink, and cry, and look around!!! Yes, she was looking around, Heidi kept holding her hands and wiping her eyes and more milky substance came out. She now looked like a baby with an eye infection…but there was a change. Her eyes, now fully open were BROWN!! Albertina Felicia could now see and stand!! Before my very eyes and the witness of a now huddled group of 30 onlookers, this tiny little life was forever changed. Her mama did not smile for over 20 minutes because she was in such shock, but by the end of the night, she was completely overjoyed as were we all!!

This is my fourth time to Africa, and I have seen many miracles, but something about this baby, Albertina Felicia, and the awe of God’s mighty hand moving in such a way has changed me. Without His daily grace and Holy Spirit, I am like that little infant, unable to see, unable to stand on my own. But, with His love and His tender touch, by the washing of His Word, my perceptions, my limited view, or lack of sight, I am made to see more clearly. With the strength of His hands to help me, I am able to stand and step and, daily learn to walk. I cannot produce a miracle, I cannot heal the sick, the lame, the blind…BUT GOD…who is in me…can and chooses to use me, chooses to use us, to partner with Him, that the world would SEE and know His goodness, and that the world would learn to stand and walk in His ways!!

Dear Lord, May I learn to let you make my sight clear and focused on You…give me the strength to stand, and teach me to walk as you lead me with Your righteous right hand! Amen.

Love to you!!

Desi